Hoops and Loops Around and Around

Because I'm so smart

I often hear "I don't know how you do it." Like, really, I hear this a lot. Having a one year old and a two and a half year old is akin to insanity, and I'm so glad that there are some people out there who are appreciative of how nuts my life is. It reminds me of the saying "Not my circus, not my monkeys," only it IS my circus and they ARE my monkeys.

I often feel like responding "I don't." I don't do it. I hang on by my fingernails and hope that when I fall, the pile of laundry will cushion my fall. There are a lot of tears in this house, and I can't always say they belong to the children. I am constantly moving, constantly being touched, constantly cleaning up something (oh, I love bodily fluids), constantly consoling someone even when I need it myself. I debate whether to use naptime to tackle all the things that need to get done, or spend it sleeping or just listening to the sounds of my own breathing. And the monitor. Always the monitor.

But I've said it before, I'm so smart. I have a few things going for me that keep somewhat sane. On a good day. Do I fail miserably at some of these for days (...weeks?) sometimes? Yep. Am I currently behind on all the things? Uh huh. But I always love getting back on that well-oiled routine machine.

Laundry

I cannot claim this idea for my own, but if you'd like to attribute it to me, then you're welcome.

One day I was lamenting to a coworker about the absolute absurdity of baby laundry. The clothes are SO small that by the time the load is full, there are around 79 shirts, 56 pairs of pants, 32 undies, 45 onesies and 1,974 socks to sort. One load of baby laundry is equivalent to doing four loads of full grown human laundry and takes about six times as long to fold, sort, put away and hang up. It is a totally stupid process.

And she says with a straight face, "Why the hell are you doing that?"

To which I replied "Huh?" My face was also straight, but it should be noted a more probable descriptor would be 'vacant.'

Then she gave me the quite possibly the best advice I've ever gotten about motherhood. She said: "Stop folding and hanging up."

So here is what I do now:

 Inside those bins are gloriously un-folded clothes

Each kid has a bin for shirts (and/or onesies) and another bin for pants/shorts. I literally throw them in there. I don't fold them, I just throw 'em on in. "What about wrinkles?" I can hear you gasping. Listen, no one gives a hoot-and-a-half about a two year old wearing a wrinkled shirt, and honestly, if you do then we can't be friends anymore. Plus, with the amount of moving and grooving Hoops and Loops do throughout the day, by lunch the wrinkles are gone and replaced by blueberry stains and snot. And if for some weird reason they require wrinkle-free clothes for an event, because I do have fancy children, I just bust out the iron. No, no, no, I don't iron it, silly. I just blast it with the steam setting. Because I win at momming.

Some of you are good at math and see that there are two extra bins. I use those bins for a collection of clothes that are out of season and/or one size too big. That way if there is an especially cool day, I still have little sweaters and cozy clothes and if a kid suddenly gets big I have a stash ready to go. In the attic...well. That's where I keep four very large storage bins full of clothes. Two are full of clothes that have been generously given to us but are too big right now...and two are my delusional stash of clothes that are too small for Hoops or Loops, but are for "just in case." (I think I just heard my husband start the car and head to the vasectomy clinic. They have those right?)

I do still hang an occasional item up: nice little Loops dresses, certain jackets. I also have a little dresser on the opposite side of the room that houses the pajamas, socks (OH MY GOODNESS LET'S BAN SOCKS FOR CHILDREN UNDER 13), undies and even pull-ups for when Hoops goes to bed. But this "No Fold" method has really saved me an immense amount of time in sorting, folding and hanging laundry. It is so much easier.

 Say "Cheese" Hoops! Or run. That makes sense too. (Please don't ask about the lamp. Yeah.)

Child labor 

Poor Hoops. The kid grabs diapers and wipes for Loops, then throws away the dirty diaper (not the poops, because I'm not heartless, people). He puts dirty clothes in the hamper, he puts his and his sister's shoes in the bin when we get home. He cleans up his toys as best as you could imagine. He throws away trash, he wipes up spills. He dusts. He has even started helping with sorting the laundry into the bins. He's obsessed with vacuums, but can't quite manage the big one so he has his own little Dyson he uses while we vacuum.

The best part? He has no idea how much doing these things totally sucks. Hoops actually likes being a part of the process and helping. I can't wait until I can get Loops in on this process and I can just sit back and sip wine and watch Netflix all day. That day is coming guys. I may even train them to give foot massages.

Food prep

See this post for some foods that we eat around this circus. My husband is fantastic at prepping a large quantity of food for us to eat for lunch during the week. It is so great to know that in the middle of insanity, I can plop children into highchairs and grab some Tupperware that already has food, fruits and veggies and I'm done. I also do a lot of easy foods for breakfast. Read the post, guys. It's golden.

Cleaning

This one is not fun. Because cleaning is the worst. But again, firstly employ child labor.  I am literally the worst at cleaning. It is so hard with all the babies and everything and I hate it. One thing that helps when I actually enact it is setting one goal a day, and sadly using nap time to NOT nap. I used to make a jillion To-Do lists, and now I just write down one thing that I hope to get done that day. Just one tiny thing to get done that day. It might say "Bathroom" and I might just get that done. I might be able to spend 15 minutes cleaning the bathroom that day. (Again, I can hear my husband. Laughing in hysterics this time.)

This is literally 9:30am

I clean the playroom every night right after the kids go to bed, and set out some toys for them to choose from the next morning. It's so nice for it to be clean with everything where it goes, and setting out a different choice (one on the table, one on the floor) keeps them interested in all the toys because something is always new and exciting. They give me 15 minutes of engrossed in the activity wherein I can make my own breakfast and recuperate from the worst night's sleep I ever had the night before, every single night, always.

Gym

I just started this. I have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week for the last seven weeks, and am hoping to increase it to 4-5 times a week. They have childcare included in the monthly fee, and I can drop Hoops and Loops off for up to two hours at a time. Guys, I can work out and take a shower. A whole shower without worrying about listening to the monitor and hoping kids stay asleep while I shampoo. The exercise also helps relieve stress and is a great outlet. I hope it also sets up a positive example for the monkeys. And they get some socialization with other kids there and get out of the playroom for a while.

So there ya have it.

Some teeny ideas to help me from totally losing it. Like I said, hardly ever are all of these things in place at once because this isn't a fairy tale.  But it does help!

Got any other ideas? Let me know and keep me sane as the babes do hoops and loops around me!